Numb.

[margotvankapelle]

That's a good way of summing things up.  I'm not spiraling down, so that's good, but neither am I clawing my way back up -- I just don't have the energy for it.  I'm applying for food stamps and utility assistance...here's hoping we get one or the other -- preferably both.  I am really flat out terrified that we'll be turned down.

I signed up for my classes for next semester...I'm going to have to retake my algebra class as I have failed 2 tests in a row even with tutoring.  I hate it and it makes me feel stupid.  I could conceivably pull a C in the class but then I'd be behind the 8-ball when taking a higher-level math course, so I'll swallow what little pride I have left and just retake the damned thing.

Boe has 3 weeks left.  Thank God.  This does not count looking for work...this part is the bit that makes me just want to curl into a ball and hibernate until May.  The problem is that he has become rather down himself, and needs me to pull him out of it...which is something I don't have the energy for.

We have cashed in all of our retirement plan stuff, my stock options, everything.  We have no cushion.  And I make 13 cents over minimum wage.