Philosophical Nonsense

Between work and school, I barely know which direction is up.  I really really want to sew, but can't really do that until the Tornado Room (so named because it's a disaster area) is cleared out -- I tried to clear it out myself, but my face broke out in hives and I began to wheeze about five minutes in.  Not good.  So I have to get The Spouse and The Daughter to do that for me...which means it might get done by the end of 2012.  If I'm lucky.

In other news, my sister Mel is driving up from Florida on a quick visit to drop my neice off with my parents for a portion of the summer.  Let's see if Bitz can learn to share Lennie this season.  Unfortunately, Mel is driving up on the weekend with the highest volume of cake sales for the year...Graduation Weekend for FWCS.  I tried to find a replacement (there's a coworker who doesn't normally work weekends), but apparently the only family that matters is the one this cow-irker has, not anyone else's.  Even after I explained that I haven't seen my sister in a couple of years.  I was delighted, let me tell you.  >:-/  So I'm going to have to call off one of the busiest sales days of the year and leave my coworker H screwed with no help.  H and I talked it over and we mutually decided that if I have to call off to see my sister, then Sunday would be the better day.  So that's the game plan.  At least 1 coworker is understanding.

Uh, other than that, school is going well.  One instructor has publicly stated on numerous occasions that she doesn't give A's ever...well guess what lady, you're going to have to change that stance.  *cracks knuckles*

I keep motivating myself by looking at real estate listings and home builders' websites.  Also looking at vehicles, since my poor Lumina will probably last me until I'm out of school (I hope!) but not much longer than that.  I'm kinda leaning in this direction, since that allows for some flexibility as far as cargo and stuff goes but is more fuel-efficient than an SUV or truck.  Or I'd like a Prius.  I'd like 40-odd mpg, you know?

I'm doing a test run for the Christmas pecans I'm making for this weekend.  Recipe is here; I added a splash of vanilla extract, a 1/2 tsp of cardamom, a tiny pinch of galingale, a mere dusting of nutmeg (my mom's not real fond of nutmeg or cloves; naturally, I like both), and subbed brown sugar for white.

The house smells AMAZING. 

ETA:  The cardamom overtook the cinnamon just a hair, and they weren't quite as sweet as I'd like.  Hm, I think I'm going to add a 1/4 cup of white sugar to bring the total sugar to 3/4 cup, knock the cardamom down to 1/4 tsp, and try it a bit differently tomorrow.  They are tasty though; Boe will like them because they aren't quite so sweet as the ones I remember from various festivals in the region.  Hm, I wonder if adding a little bit of honey might do the trick instead of the 1/4 cup white sugar...thoughts?

I'm temporarily up to 40 hours a week, so that's pretty much all I've been doing lately.

This weekend was Attack of the Entitled People.  the one good spot was seeingcubsfan57 at Germanfest on Saturday -- I have missed her dearly!

I made a post inadoption , and I wanted to throw it out to my f-list as well.  Let me know what you think, I am getting so very very turned around on quite a few issues (as I am sure you all probably already knew!), and I could really use advice on, well, everything.

When Boe and I have discussed adoption, it has been with the assumption that we'll probably be adopting from the foster care system, since the financial costs of that method seem to be lower than for private adoption, and it gives us the chance to adopt a sibling group (we're primarily interested in adopting a sibling group since they are traditionally difficult to place.)  However, my hormones have really done a number on me and given me a raging case of baby rabies. As in, OMG BABIESRITENAO! sort of baby rabies.  So in my idiocy, I've been scoping out private adoption facilitators, which makes the whole "wanting a baby immediately if not sooner" feeling stronger. 

In addition, Boe -- who has always wanted to have children with me -- is of the opinion that we should go ahead and start the classes and whatnot now and as far as finances go, we'll just work it out the same way we would if I wasn't infertile and we had an unexpected pregnancy.  On the other hand, I can't help but fret that the course of action that Boe is suggesting would be irresponsible...but I'll be 35 before I graduate, and Boe will be 47.  I mean, yeah, Larry King can father a baby at the age of 927265, but that doesn't mean that we can or should.

So what on earth do I do in this situation?  If it was a question of me not being infertile and we had an unexpected pregnancy, we'd just muddle through as best we could while trying to juggle sketchy finances and a newborn.  But in this case, where having children requires not only money, but time, effort, and one hell of a lot of red tape, the right path to take is not nearly as clear-cut.  Wait until I'm out of school, even though we'll be (depressingly) a lot older than the ideal? See if we can adopt even though we're not *quite* where we need to be financially yet?  Foster care adoption, private, or "lady, you are clearly way too nuts to have kids"?

I mean, 35 is -- in my opinion -- really pushing the boundaries of age-appropriateness of first-time parenthood.  And that doesn't mean that I'd become a mom at 35; the classes and stuff can take up to a year, then there's the wait to get a home study done, and then there's waiting to be matched, and and and and and.  Realistically, it can take 2-3 years for placement through the foster care system. 

Hell, if we knew that I could carry a pregnancy, Boe and I would have gone the "family friend and a turkey baster" route.  But I can't carry a pregnancy, and we can't afford fertility treatments at $10,000 per round of IVF, embryo adoption in this case requires a surrogate, and we certainly can't afford a surrogate -- which would require us to go through a lot of the same hoops as an adoption would to boot.


My life is not turning out to be anything like what I had hoped...hrmph.

Boe and I wanted to catch a Rocky Horror production, but we can't seem to find any in the Fort Wayne/Muncie/Indy areas for Saturday.  *sigh* Oh well.  Then some friends mentioned that Midrealm Crown Tourney is in Tipton (a mere hour and fifteen minutes from us) on Saturday and that they were thinking of going, and the wheels started turning.  So we're going to Crown Tourney now and bringing a proto-medievalist (she's interested, but has never been to an event) with us.  Who else is gonna be there, flist?  I 'd really like to meet some of y'all!

After uploading all those photos Tuesday, I was less than pleased with the amount of fullness in the OMGPINK kirtle  skirt.  So now I really just want to drop everything and make another kirtle for this weekend.  Like I don't have enough stuff to keep me busy already...(why yes, I AM procrastinating on making Christmas presents, why is anyone surprised about that at this point?)  And I have to work tomorrow, so I'd have to go from fabric, to drafting, to sewing, to finishing (including lacing holes) AFTER I'd be getting off of work.  Errrrrrrr....I *could* do it, but I also really don't feel like killing myself with stress either.

So I think I'll just make myself some sleeves and a new hood.  The dark green one was a good prototype, but now that I know how to whip them out, I'd like more than just one, you know?

I just figured out that one of the guys on my FB friends list is a Nice Guy.

...*sigh*

Boe and I went to Mad Anthony's brewpub last night to help Lisa cheer on Butler (her alma mater). Neither Boe nor I are into sports, but as the clock ticked down we cheered Butler on as much as anyone. We all spent time texting back and forth with Lisa's husband Brian -- he's in FL for some military training and was feeling kinda lonely. Hopefully the texting and conversations helped -- I must ask Lisa. We stayed up until 2 am or thereabouts laughing and talking, so Lisa stayed at our place. No one else is up yet and things are very peaceful.

Thursday, I had to run Boe up to South Bend for his clown convention. Yay or something. Sat at home, had popcorn for dinner, watched Apocalypto (nice cinematography, stunningly predictable plot), walked the dog.  Friday, I got up, went to the bank, got my account straightened out, picked up a new phone for Boe, went to WalMart for the remaining weekend supplies (hair dye, stockings, a ribbon and fake rose for my hair), then went home and promptly procrastinated tacking down the bodice lining and sewing the buttonholes.  *sigh*

I called rvqavalon , who is made of complete awesome, chatted for a bit, and finally finished the damn dress already.  At 12:35 AM.  I really need to stop that.

Saturday, I got up, ensured the cats had adequate gooshyfoods for the weekend, and drove to Lansing.  I checked in at a Motel 6 (they're the cheapest, and I was on a reeeeeeeeeeeally tight budget), got a "Bwuh?" look from the front desk clerk when I asked if an iron and ironing board might be available, and was told that whatever needed to be ironed could simply be chucked into a dryer in their laundry facilities.  Silk dress in a dryer? Lololololololololololololol-no.  Damped my gown in the sink, hung it up to drip dry, and dyed my hair.  It turns out that i had forgotten my chemise, so it was just as well that I had a bodiced petticoat to wear under my corset.

Now, my corset is one of the long jobbies with a wooden busk at center front.  All I had to use to lace it shut was a pair of sneaker laces.  Rather *short* sneaker laces.  So I was in the middle of wriggling into the blasted thing when my phone rings.  *sigh*  I couldn't move my arms and the corset was enveloping my head at the time...you can imagine how convenient it was to get a phone call in the middle of this.  It was, unsurprisingly, Boe.  Yes, his sense of timing is always just that good.

So he and I had a conversation while I put the rest of my stuff on, and...holy cow.  Everything looked right.  The hair, the makeup (cuz I'm not going to a giant party without at least some powder and mascara, yo), the dress, the gloves...everything.

I was incredibly nervous when I pulled up to the church where the ball was held.  Had several minutes of, "Okay, I got here...that's good enough, isn't it?  I should probably leave.  I'll just be awkward anyway."  But I managed to get my ass out of the car and into the ball.  The ball was AMAZING.  The hall, the refreshments, the music and musicians, the caller...damn, it was all just wonderful!

rvqavalon , lachwen , Julie-sans-LJ, and dandytailor  were   all very fun and welcoming!  I was disappointed that renzys_frenzy 's husband wasn't feeling well and therefore they didn't come, but I'm certain I'll see them again at some point.  After the ball, there were pictures to be taken, then we trooped over to the home of dandytailor 's parents, who are very gracious.  After some post-event chatter, I was exhausted and made my way back to Ye Olde Motel 6.  Sunday, I packed up and went home (Boe finagled a ride from one of the other attendees at his clown convention).